You can become more resilient by learning and practicing resilient skills, attitudes and behaviours like
- Positive tracking, focusing on the positives and things that go well and trying to find the positives (however small) in negative situations
- Expecting things to mostly work out well and persevering when faced with obstacles
- Using an optimistic explanatory style, believing that unwelcome situations are temporary, and will probably improve with effort, hard work and/or time and are specific to that situation, so they don’t need to flow over into all aspects of your life.
Helpful thinking skills. Thinking that is grounded in facts and reality (rather than just focusing on the things that have gone wrong) helps you to stay calm so problems can be more easily solved.
Managing strong feelings such as anxiety, fear and anger with helpful thinking. Did you know it’s possible to change a bad mood into a good mood if you shift your focus? For example you can:
- Go over some good memories by looking through photographs
- Watch a funny TV show or DVD or read something funny
- Rethink the problem in a more helpful way
- Go for a vigorous walk or undertake some other form of exercise
- Do something kind for someone else.
Keeping a sense of humour by finding something funny, even if only small, in an adverse situation to help you to keep things in perspective.
Using good social skills helps you to seek support from others, make and keep friends, and resolve conflict in a way that doesn’t lose friends.
Goal setting, making plans, being organised and self-disciplined, being prepared to work hard, sticking to something and not giving up easily and being inventive.
Developing a sense of personal competence, by identifying your strengths and limitations and using this self knowledge to help you to achieve your goals. Everyone has things they are good at and other things they are not so good at. Just being aware of your strengths helps you to reach goals. Doing things that engage your strengths boosts your positive mood. Go to www.viacharacter.org to find out your top strength.
Developing self-respect by setting high standards for your own behaviour and believing you matter and should be treated respectfully by others. When people self-respect they also self-protect and avoid behaviours and situations that present a risk to their safety and wellbeing such as engaging in unsafe practices when using the internet and mobile phones. It also helps you to be less vulnerable to be bullied.
Behaviour that reflects empathy and core values such as being respectful, kind, fair, honest and cooperative. Such behaviour includes not mistreating or bullying others, being kind and showing care and concern to people who need support, being friendly and not excluding people because of their differences.
Adapted from the Bounce Back program: www.bounceback.com.au
